MY HILARIOUS 2018 TRAVEL STORIES!!!
So today to wrap up the end of 2018, I will be sharing my craziest travel stories & experiences… Feel free to read, laugh and be merry haha!
Easyjet flight Chronicles
Believe me guys I’ve flown countless times but never in my life have I ever reached the point where I officially gave up and concluded it was the end and the plane was gonna crash!
….Hmmm feb 14th 2018, while y’all were enjoying St Valentine with your Boos, I was screaming with other passengers to save my dear life. So it was the first flight for the day, supposed to last about 1hr from Paris to Nice, it was snowing and the weather in Paris was really bad. Regardless the take off was smooth and we began our journey. Roughly after 20mins there was an announcement that the weather was worse than expected so we should expect some turbulence. In my head I was like okay that’s normal I’m used to that, but hell NO, this was on another level.
I tried to distract myself by reading a book, listening to music and even started a conversation with the lady next to me but the turbulence only got worse and people began to panic. When the crew started instructing us on using the life jackets as there might be a need for it, that’s when I realised that “water don pass garri”…(Nigerian way of saying it was beyond my control).
Fear and trepidation gripped me, my life flashed in few minutes and I stopped thinking straight! I thought to my self if i have to die on a 45euros flight, why not die a comfortable death?? So first step I took off everything that made me feel heavy? my wig, my bra, wrist watch and jewellery. At least God should recognise me in heaven I thought, as for all naked we all came into this world and naked we shall return! haha.
The passengers didn’t make things easy for me by screaming nonstop, before I knew it I was nauseous and threw up. That automatically drew everyone’s attention to me, I remember one lady telling passengers that this was normal with Africans that were flying for the first time or probably just arriving directly from Africa….loooool ? even in my dilemma I almost burst out laughing at her ideology.
Now with this “faux” analysis all the passengers began to sympathise with me as “the African girl just flying for the first time”, few women came and stood by struggling in all the chaos, holding my hands in solidarity while others patted my shoulder reassuring me it was going to be fine. I began to get confused, for a moment I thought we were all scared so how did this folks turn this into my pity party ?
The terrible turbulence continued and after 2hours we finally arrived Nice, but this time had issues with the wheels and unable to land. Another series of drama began, and I started to throw up again once I heard any announcements from the pilot, at this point I noticed an Asian couple was making a video of me. Since I already thought we were all going to die I was unbothered by that video.
Eventually we landed after what seemed to take forever, everyone was elated and I immediately came back to my senses, I quickly started to glam up and put back on my wig, watch etc while the plane was preparing for passengers to exit. I put on my fierce red lipstick and acted like I was not that girl people saw few hours ago…ah well I didn’t die so allow me to be great ?♀️. I heard one guy say “Wasn’t she the girl they said has never been on a plane?” lol, now I was sure my video was gonna be on social media soon so I had to act fast. I quickly approached the Asian couple and told them they had no right making a video and demanded they deleted it on the spot and they did. The story sounds funny now but in reality it was a very terrible experience.
Body odour Dilemma
“Odourine” by Givenchy is what i named his smell because it engraved a life time memory in my head… it was that bad guys!!! haha. On a flight to Milan I was next to this guy that oozed so bad, his looks didn’t correspond with the odour so I tried to give him a benefit of doubt but once he took off his shoes and relaxed to read I was doomed!!!
I had to act fast to get out of this situation so i approached the air hostess and told her I was a handicapped passenger and the seats were not comfortable for my legs ?(bear in mind to achieve this, i had to stunt like i had pains with my left leg). Surprisingly she offered to upgrade me to first class, even asking what else she could do to make me feel comfortable. On arrival, i had forgotten that i lied about been handicapped, I was leaving the flight majestically, when some guy by the entrance door told me the wheel chair was ready for me outside ?. Oh boy i was confused! Should i enjoy this free wheel chair ride to the arrival hall or just decline? well i’m sure you can guess my choice….?
Aside these 2 stories I’ve also had other funny experiences like sleeping off and missing my train station which made me arrive in a wrong country of destination, randomly sitting in the first class coach impersonating a passenger ?, and following the wrong pick up driver at the airport that coincidentally had my name tag!
It’s been an adventurous and funny year indeed!
Happy new year dear friends, next year i’ll be sharing tips on budget travels around numerous continents so be READY!
P/S don’t forget to check for the winner of the trip to Malaga on the 31st dec on my Instagram page!